Black Friday/Cyber Monday and More Etsy Crap

Always pitifully late to the party, Etsy published their "plan" for Black Friday/Cyber Monday on November 20, and guess what sellers? It’s a list of what sellers can do to lose more money on Etsy!

Yes, you too can:
1. Lower your prices to below-below cost!

2. Label everything in your store BARGAIN! DISCOUNT! 99% OFF!
2. Offer FREE SHIPPING and lose big piles of money fast!
3. Market Etsy for free all over cyberspace and provide even MORE free labor than usual!


Sure looks like marymary did it again! Slapped together a crappy plan in 5 minutes to make it look like Etsy's doing something for sellers when it’s all about WHAT SELLERS CAN DO FOR ETSY! How much lower can you go Etsy?


Thanks Mary for giving sellers even more work to do to NOT sell a damn thing on Etsy!

Black Friday and Cyber Monday specials..

Good morning buddies!!

I want to offer another avenue of promotion. You send us your Black Friday/Cyber Monday/Holiday Promos and on Friday, November 28, I will post all of them, no matter where you sell. Don't forget to give us a link to your store, because Im not quite that psychic :D

Maybe we can get a little extra promotion for you for the holidays!

E-mail us with your promo at etsybiatch at gmail.com with the subject line "Holiday Promos"

Oh, My Etsy-Aching Head!

Lock lock, mute mute, gotta make a cowl, I can’t knit, Gramma? Gotta get the wrapping paper, lock lock, mute mute, did I buy enough showcases this month? What did she say about me in the forums? Lock lock, mute mute, hey I sent an email to support@ 7 weeks ago! Lock lock, mute mute, gotta make the grass-growing thingy and list it in my store, should I price it $2 or $3? Lock lock, mute mute oh boy, you mean I actually have to pack up these sales and put them in the mail? How do I do that? Where’s the post office? Lock lock, mute mute, did I relist 125 items today or should I do it tomorrow, I can do without groceries for another 2 weeks, lock lock, mute mute. Is it Etsy-ready, cool yet urban, pseudo green and a must-have? Ooops, my camera broke, I’ll just borrow the pix from that catalog, they look the same, lock lock, mute mute, I dunno, should I buy a banner for my store, or buy 6 booklets for sale on Etsy about how to sell on Etsy like every other seller on Etsy doing all the same things that I’m doing, oh, I forgot to relist again today, how is anyone going to see my $5 bargains, is there a weekend sale going on, did I get in, am I on the Front Page, why doesn’t Etsy answer my email? Lock lock mute mute oh damn, time to go to the bathroom, noooooooooo, hey, my Etsy Bill is $87.60 and I didn’t sell a thing last month! Oh, I forgot to relist again, where is that section in the 450-page Etsy Handbook, they’ll tell me what to do! Lock lock, mute mute, oh golly, boohoooohoooo, no one looks at my store anymore! .
Maybe I need to put something on the forums like, uhmm, like, uhmmm, "Where did my views go?" What section should it go in? Will you look at my store and tell my what I’m doing wrong? Lock lock, mute mute, I just wanna be Etsy-Admin-loved, what’s wrong with that?
Lock lock, mute mute gotta get to the yarn store, did I relist 100 items today like I promised myself? Gotta make the fingerless gloves, nope, a flower brooch, no a beige hairband, no a feathered bird, no something that looks geeky, nope, something under glass? hmmmm, gotta relist, gotta relist, gotta relist, lock lock, mute mute.
Lather, rinse, repeat, lock lock, mute mute.

EB Gift Guides 4

Etsy Buy Handmade

EB Gift Guides 3

Guys, Im so sorry this is late. Here it is though!

http://pawandclawdesigns.etsy.com
http://ursulaandolive.etsy.com
http://variousandsundry.etsy.com
http://GaHooletree.etsy.com
http://nemesisproductions.etsy.com
http://jsdesigngallery.etsy.com
http://shinyadornments.etsy.com
http://laurenbishop.etsy.com
http://theeye.etsy.com
http://nightskyjewelry.etsy.com
http://onedineglass.etsy.com
http://starrydreams.etsy.com
http://fromtikiwithlove.etsy.com
http://angelamichelledolls.etsy.com
http://weefaeriefolk.etsy.com

Bitches' Auxiliary - New Hires

Yep, Etsy has added yet another engineer to their force. Ever wonder what the resumes look like for these creme de la creme Chad chooses? Unfortunately, they laid it out in the Dorque announcement.

This email we received just about sums it up!

Etsy hires a friend who has no e-commerce background. But what the heck, he plays a mean banjo and knows a lot about social networking. And isn't that what it's all about? Just folks, hangin, talking, pickin git fiddles and watchin the little uns roll around on the floor? Forget making the site about sales. "It's not about the money man, it's about the people. Anyone who is in business for the money is just an evil breadhead. Pass me that joint, brah."

Best Thread Title: “Is this a Bug or a New Change?”

Hats off to all the sellers who diligently report daily BUGS in the ever-changing, weirdly morphing, almost unshoppable site - Etsy!

Etsy is so unstable, sellers don’t know whether it’s a bug or a new Etsy feature dropped on sellers like an iron anvil right smack in the middle of the holiday selling weeks!

Etsy pays little attention, but when they do, like lisajune finally did to the pesky shopping cart time-outs, they tell sellers AND customers to send MORE DETAILS in emails that, admittedly, MIGHT NOT even make it through the silly, old support@ system!!!

Etsy, the site that makes it impossible for most sellers to sell!

Forget about “Code Lockdown” Already Etsy?

Hey Etsy! It’s the start of the holiday retail season, and you can STOP with the daily announcments, tweaks, changes, buttons here buttons there and STOP STOP STOP everything until January 1st.


You should have done all your changes, tweaks and site "improvements" in August, NOT IN THE SECOND WEEK OF NOVEMBER!

What the hell are you thinking?


Do sellers a favor and go on an extended vacation for 6-8 weeks, we’ll maybe (and that’s a big maybe) see you next year.

EB Gift Guides 2

http://pinegardenbaskets.etsy.com
http://xenya.etsy.com
http://onlypencil.etsy.com
http://localcolorist.etsy.com
http://eclipse.etsy.com
http://tocadoraleather.etsy.com
http://themidnightorange.etsy.com
http://artsycrafty.etsy.com
http://mermaidsbeads.etsy.com
http://akdlampwork.etsy.com
http://smilingsunshine60.etsy.com
http://sarahkdesigns.etsy.com
http://glazedearth.etsy.com
http://amatheria.etsy.com
http://monsterlab.etsy.com
http://ruttiger.etsy.com

EB Gift Guides 1

Row 1 (From Left to Right)

http://hideebug.etsy.com
http://RDGDesigns.etsy.com
http://NewEnergy.etsy.com
http://peggysu1464.etsy.com

Row 2 (Left to Right)

http://scrubyourbutt.etsy.com
http://scrumpdilyumptious.etsy.com
http://ivydee.etsy.com
http://kahlaw.etsy.com

Row 3 (Left to Right)

http://whatsbuzzin.etsy.com
http://handhelddezigns.etsy.com
http://AimeeArtz.etsy.com
http://brennabay.etsy.com

Row 4 (Left to Right)

http://fancyfootwrkspottery.etsy.com
http://clearmountaincraft.etsy.com
http://SteamBathFactory.etsy.com
http://mermaidsdream.etsy.com